I am writing this letter today to tell you that I am done.
Done with the pain, the angst, the anxiety, the will to live.
Ever feel like that? Yeah, me too. Which brings us to the point of social media’s great #metoo. What is it about being understood that feels so good to our hearts and minds?
The human condition.
The human condition.
Being understood does something for our souls that nothing else can. Validation is another word that comes to mind. What is it that you would like me to know?
Have you been hurt beyond belief? Friends betray you? Husband leave you? Family disown you? I have experienced all three. Yup. In fact twice to the husband part. There is nothing quite like a partner who has taken a vow with you leaving you in the middle of the night, or in my case when I left the apartment we lived in, for a quick job interview, to come back to a note telling me that he had to go.
The pain of that season is like nothing else I can recall. That is until the memories of childhood sexual abuse began to spill out. Don’t get me wrong, they did not start spilling out like a movie on a movie screen, but in bits and pieces. Sometimes a snap shot, but most often for me, as body memories. There, I said it. It makes me sick just to write the words.
Childhood sexual abuse.
What makes it even worse is the sickening feeling I get when I think about how my family disowned me.
Was it the right thing I did by coming forward to tell my father about my memory that had surfaced? No question it was.
I was unable to keep on the mask any longer after finding out he had sexually abused me. It has taken years to unravel the details, as there was a lot of other abuse getting in the way so to speak. You see, we are kind of like an onion, and when you start to find out about abuse that happened to you in your younger years, you may also find that you need to first peel back the layers of some older years.
What do I mean by that?
You may first need to open up your mind to the possibility of abuse that could have happened to you as an adult even, because that may need to be dealt with first. How do you do that? Aroma Freedom Technique. What’s that you ask? It is a technique for getting to the “junk”. When I went to my weekend of training, the process was unraveled to me or should I say my mind was unraveled.
Events that did not seem to have any connection came to mind, eventually connecting pieces of a puzzle, only the pieces did not form a beautiful picture, they were pictures of the same issue over and over again.
If you allow yourself to try this process, I can lead you through sessions where you will cover a lot of ground in under two hours. Sessions typically last one and a half hours to include time to wrap up and get our next time set up on the calendar.