Second Chances: Entry #5

Have you ever been abused? I’m guessing if you are reading this blog you probably have been. Whether you know the depth of it or not, the information is all there in your mind. Waiting to be retrieved and attended to so that you can heal. This is what I learned from God having me go to trauma counseling year after year to do what seems like an impossible job.

So what if I were to tell you that there are parts of you split off inside your subconscious that are waiting to tell their story. What if I told you that you could hear these voices if you would tune into them and talk to them. Sound like a horror movie? Maybe “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” comes to mind? I don’t know your journey and I don’t know how God works things out for you. But that is what He had me do for years. My husband was very against this process and still is, but I sense it is the only way to freedom for me. Like going to rescue little children who have been left behind only they are in my head.

God made the body so intricately that when we are abused, in order to protect ourselves the mind can actually split off and encapsulate the trauma. So the rest of the person can continue to function in some semblance of normalcy until the circumstances are safe to deal with the trauma. Many years of counseling actually made me worse for awhile before I started to get better. I began to like myself more than ever before and I was able to use the creative abilities that God had gifted me but Had for so long been shut down by fear.
Tell me what you want what you really really want. This is a line from the Spice Girls who are from the UK. Do you want to be well? Are you willing to pay the price to get there? I was, but it was not a popular decision. What I mean by that is my family abandoned me when I brought up the question of childhood abuse. Just the mere mention that I have had a memory surface of abuse cost my parents to stop speaking to me for four years. In fact, the clock is still ticking as to when God will restore family relationships at least in some semblance or manner.

Do you want to be reconciled with your family? You may not even want to reconcile. I didn’t. For a long time and even now, that hurt is so deep I cannot imagine being in the same room with my family and trying to act like things are normal. Or try to address the traumas. That sounds just ridiculous. In fact it makes me feel nauseous to think about the situation. What would I say to them? What good would it do? You can’t erase all the damage or can you? I have always believe with God all things are possible. But this still seems impossible.
So what is God doing in your life? Is He asking you to get it all together and go put on happy face and be with your family who abused you for years? Is he asking you to draw boundaries for a while so that you can heal? That seems to be what he has been doing for me, he has covered me up and separated me for my own safety. It hurt at the time but gradually became easier as I saw I needed the space to heal. Getting reinjured at this point would only send me deeper into depression over all that I was discovering.

What is it that God is asking you to look at that is so very painful? Is it your mother and father abused you? Neglected you? Your brothers beat you? Whatever it is I can imagine it is scary to consider going back to that time or incident that damaged your soul beyond recognition. Let me just say right now, the Father says He’s sorry this happened to you. It was not His plan in the least. Men choose whether to break the cycle of sin and choose to love God with all their heart as best they can or they choose to serve their flesh, their minds, and their bodies.

If you’re still reading at this point, good for you. This book will help you know what you need to do next. Or at least have some ideas of next steps. Pray it through, and don’t give up. I’m rooting for you even though I don’t know your name. I am praying for everyone who reads this book that they will find healing for their soul just like I have but only faster.
So where should we begin? I guess telling my story and interjecting what I also did in the natural would be the most helpful. Let’s begin.
In 1985 I was a senior in high school not knowing the depth of my disability, or the gaping hole in my heart, that so desperately needed to be filled with Gods love. But instead I went with the familiar and sought out a boyfriend. But it was a substitute for love that ended up in me having to get an abortion to hide from my parents and the world what I was doing behind closed doors. You see, I was a fairly good student and had an image to protect of being the good girl at least to a degree or I would lose even the small amount of love, and that it seems at least, that I caught from my parents.

I honestly don’t recall any of the events at all. When it came up in a prayer session with my partners, that I had done this dirty disgusting deed, the tears began to flow out of seemingly nowhere. Part of my traumatized self had been carrying the guilt and shame which caused me great anxiety. This it seems explains a lot of the guilt and shame that I have been carrying for so many years, yet I really didn’t even know why. And I would have told you that I did not have any guilt and shame, because I did not identify with the part of me carrying it. The parts of me were too shattered and splintered.

What I did not know was that this would be a root of so many health problems that could not be explained. Aborting a fetus is murder and with that comes the penalty of death for the mother as well. Only you don’t die completely, you keep on living on earth but with so much pain and torment you would rather die. I think it is called judgement when you commit a sin and it comes back against you in a worse form. Hell on earth is what I have experienced. Physical, emotional and spiritual suffering of the worst kind and yet I did not even recall doing it. It seems so strange that all this illness could come out of doing something I don’t even remember doing and better yet, felt forced to do, or else I would lose all the approval from the parents that did not seem to fully love me anyways. They tried I imagine, but the neglect and abuse would say otherwise.
Then there is the flip side to their parenting. The good mom and dad that did some nice things and spent some of their hard earned money on me. So much confusion. What was the true story?

Good Daddy by day and evil Daddy by night. Really? Could this be the same person? I don’t think so. I think that he, like me must have been seriously abused to have such a side of him that could commit these crimes against me. Hurt people hurt people. Abused people abuse people. It is just that simple, sin handed down from one generation to the next, sometimes so dark that even the abuser does not recall doing the abuse.
Trust me when I say that I don’t believe they recall doing the abusing and the neglect, well I relate to that, when you feel so overwhelmed with your own brokenness, it is hard to tend to anyone’s needs but your very own. You are like a child yourself when these wounds need tending to, although nothing can really heal them. Except God. Except God. I believe He is the only one that can bring my shattered soul back together again and turn it around for the good of myself and others. Only Him. That’s it. End of story. God can turn any horror story even, and turn it around for your good if you love Him and are called according to His purposes. Which I am. Which is the only reason I would bare my soul like this to you and the world via social media. This is what He says will set me free, to get all this “yuk” out into the light so there can be no more hiding, no more secret shame to keep hidden, and a chance to help others heal. That is what connects us, when we reach out to help others, it brings health and healing to the mind. Don’t ask me why, but this is how we are wired.

So what do you want to know about healing? How to get it? How to start on this pathway? The first thing I would suggest doing would be to meet your Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. He is God’s son and He died on a cross for you to be a sacrifice for the sins of the world. He took the guilt, shame and pain of every sin committed against you and I as well as the ones that we committed. He has felt what you have experienced, literally. I don’t know how, but it’s true. And He is the only way out that I have found from the torment in my soul. Yes, sure he has given me amazing tools and a very narrow road to follow that have helped me escape some of the difficulties, but it has been a long and arduous road I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. But God. You can do this. Set your mind to find the Lord, get help from a local Bible believing church that prays and supports people because sometimes healing takes some time and we need the body of believers to hold us up. Even when I would rather just isolate, the Lord sent the people that I had gotten to know before my breakdown to consistently love and support me through prayer, gifts and even financial blessings. It has been an amazing season of watching God be faithful, even as I suffered, He showed me He had not gone away, but was giving me the support I needed to make it through.

So what’s next for you? Are you ready to face your demons? The memories in your mind that are haunting you but you don’t want to face or feel you can’t? You can with God. You can with oils. There are processes that allow you to come back into your strong self that only an oil can do. You see the essential oils are able to get into the upper parts of the brain to help bring the trauma down and then to switch on other parts of the brain, as you use your imagination to bring you to a safe place.
There is a process called Inner Freedom Release Technique. It involves inhaling an oil called Release, and then allowing the Lord to show you a memory that He wants you to be healed from. You then take the next oil, called Inner child, and imagine a memory of when you were a small child, remember a time that was safe and good. Inhale it, put a drop in your navel, which is the giver of life. This brings the healing frequencies of what childhood should have been like into your system. The mucous membranes under the tongue are the most absorbent in your body, other than the vagina. Which is the other place the oils can be applied to give calming effects. It is a method the Lord has been having me use for over a year now and when I don’t do it, the pain is still there. Apparently there are a lot of body memories stored that still need to be dealt with. “The Body Keeps the Score” is a book that explains in secular terms how the splintering off of the mind works, and it seems it is so in the body memories as well. As parts of the mind begin to present themselves, so do the memories in the body that sustained the abuse.

So why don’t you give it a chance. Today is the day that you can begin to bring some rest to your soul. Healing essential oils, healing to the mind, the body and the emotions.
I would encourage you to consider joining me in this journey towards health. I can help you in ways no one else probably can. I get it. I truly get it. Let me help you and help educate you on the physical, emotional and spiritual ways of healing naturally, with God’s help nothing is impossible.
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Click on “Get Started Today” and become a member of the greatest oil company on earth. Young Living Essential oils is a company of the greatest integrity. It has members from all around the world, so don’t worry, we probably can get you the oils that you need to begin your healing journey.
Meanwhile, I can send you a sample bridge kit as you wait for your Premium Starter Kit to arrive in the mail. The popularity of the oils is higher than ever before so shipping times are a bit longer than usual. But I see God has planned for this because He had me make some kits up with 8 different oils in salve jars, a spray bottle, and some sample syringes if you want to put the oils in private places that need attention.

Much love to you, and peace as well. God wants you well child, He really really does. Go order now, I am here to help and want you to find the relief that I have. I am in the midst of making videos that will be finished shortly to further guide you in this journey to health. Don’t wait. Healing can be had for pain that seems like there is no hope. Trust me, I know it too well.

For a hopefully easy set of instructions to follow 😉  please click here: